What Are The Right Reasons To Save Your Marriage

Not all marriages work and not all marriages can or should be saved. But do you want a divorce because your don't think that your marriage is worth saving? You have to be sure that you're doing the best thing and that you know all the effects of a marriage break up.

If your partner was unfaithful it's very hard to forgive and forget especially if it's happened more than once. It's not unreasonable to want a divorce if your spouse is guilty of a crime and has been sent to jail.
These are serious issues but even these difficulties can be resolved. You can save your marriage if you both want to work it out. After all, you once loved your spouse.

What The Point In Trying To Fix Marriage Problems?
If you separate and get married again some day, will it be even worse than the first time? Also, it's quite hard going back into the dating game especially if you're older and there are children involved.

Separation and divorce leads to a great loss. You can lose time with your kids and also with your family and friends. Friends usually tend to choose you or your spouse so it's probable that you'll lose some friends entirely. Money and your property will be lost when the separation agreement divides everything in two.
Without trying to save your marriage, all the good times you remember about your marriage will become only a memory. You may also lose your self esteem. It's not only you that will suffer loss. Other people lose too when their family and friends get divorced.

Maybe you should try to improve and save your marriage. At the very least, determine if you're thinking about a divorce for the correct reasons. A lot of married couples look for a divorce because one or other is too demanding. For example, one could want more sex and attention than the other and you're weary of giving in. Today, one out of five marriages have no intimacy. This is significant but not a problem that cannot be solved.

Save Your Marriage From Divorce.
In some cases, husbands or wives may pay little attention in how they look or conduct themselves to the point that neither of them are attractive to each other anymore. They would prefer to get away from their partner than do something about it. It's easy to let your weight increase and forget about your health. To start making an attempt to save your marriage you could begin an exercise class with each other, get dressed smartly once a week and go on a date with your partner.

Money can always be a problem. If one persons spends too much money, sometimes in secret, they don't want their partner to know. Divorce seems to be the simplest way out. Take a moment and communicate. Fix your money issues together. With improved spending habits, you'll save your marriage and more besides.
After taking everything into consideration, if you come to a decision that you want a divorce for all the right reasons, then do it. However, you can save your marriage if the reasons can be settled with a little love and determination.

Six Steps to Relieve Emotional Pain

After a period of dealing with a loved one’s mental illness, compassion fatigue can set in. Yes, you still love them. Yes, you still care that they are not feeling well. But it can become difficult to empathize after a while, and you may begin to wonder, “When is this going to end?”

While I can’t give you an answer on when–or if–the illness will abate, what I can tell you is that it is essential that if your loved one says they are in pain, believe them. The pain could be emotional or physical, and either way, it is valid.

Just because you can’t see something like a broken bone jutting through the skin doesn’t mean your loved one isn’t in distress. To go with the image, even if you could see a broken bone, what might be a “7″ on a Pain Scale of 1-10 for you might be a “25″ (on that same scale!) for your loved one. Every person has a different subjective experience of pain, and part of being a support person is recognizing and validating your loved one’s experience, even though you aren’t having the same internal experience yourself.

Validating someone else simply means that you are expressing to them, “Your feelings matter, and it’s okay to feel that way.” Validation does not mean you agree with another person’s experience.

Although validation is often associated with treating borderline personality disorder, the fact of the matter is that everyone deserves to be listened to, taken seriously, and believed.

The technique I am going to describe is identified by the acronym I-AM-MAD. This acronym was originally created by Bon Dobbs of Anything To Stop The Pain, a website dedicated to borderline personality
disorder. I have modified it slightly to help you through appropriately validating your loved one’s experience, no matter what their diagnosis. (Perhaps a good way to remember the acronym is by reminding yourself that using this technique may eliminate the experience the acronym describes!)

I: Identify the emotions. As you listen to your loved one talk, note the emotion words they are using. Reply with statements that use the same emotion words that your loved one used, such as, “You sound really frustrated,” “You look angry about that,” or “I can hear how worried you are about this” (note the emotion words in italics).

A: Ask a validating question. Open-ended questions (as in, those that require more than a “yes” or “no”) show that you are listening and want to know more. Some examples include, “Tell me more about your [insert emotion word here],” “How can I help you with your [insert emotion word here]?”, or “What else can you tell me about your [insert emotion word here]?”

M: Make a validating statement about your loved one’s pain. Having listened carefully to your loved one’s answer to your question, say something that shows you were listening and care about their feelings. Statements like, “I can see why you are upset,” “I understand how that would be frustrating for you,” and “It must have been upsetting to have that happen,” are some appropriate responses.

M: Make a normalizing statement about your loved one’s pain. Sometimes people get upset because they feel they are the only ones who are experiencing their situation. So, yes, while I did say every person’s experience of a mental illness is subjective and unique, the experience of having emotions can often be generalized. In this case, try a statement such as, “I would have been upset if that had happened to me as well,” or “I think most people would be angry if that happened.”

A: Ask how you can be helpful to your loved one. Keep it short and sweet: “What can I do to help?” (However, see the next step!)

D: Do not solve the problem for your loved one. The “solution” to the problem may be obvious to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to jump in and take care of it for your loved one, however tempting that might be. Some further questions, such as “What thoughts do you have about what to do next?” and “If I was the one coming to you with this, what advice would you have for me?” empowers your loved one to come up with their own answers. Since self-esteem is often an issue for people with mental illnesses, being a supportive listener, instead of a hero, can help your loved one think about ways to solve not only the immediate problem, but future issues as well.

Does Your Man Watch Porn,And Should You Worry?

Ahhh, porn. It’s such a powerful force in our relationships, and it affects women and men in such different ways.

As for women, we start to worry that we don’t look hot/busty/sexy enough…

“My boyfriend looks at porn every single night. I’ve told him I don’t like it and he promised he would stop, but doesn’t he know I can just look at the history tab on his computer??! I don’t understand this, am I not sexy enough for him? I’ve even lost weight recently, and I still can’t compete.” — Mae S.
 
“I don’t have the boobs these stripper girls have. My gf is talking about implants, and now I’m wondering if I should get those too…” — Tresha G.
 
In Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever, I explain why “beauty” is actually only the third most important thing to men and how you can become radiantly attractive to men without having to alter your physique or torture yourself at the gym.

Or we wonder if his watching porn is the same as cheating…
“I’m so tired of his porn that I want to walk away from our relationship. When I try to talk to him about it he accuses me of being insecure, but porn makes me feel like I’m not the one he really wants. He’d rather be with his fantasy women.” — Dara M.
 
Guys are watching a ton of porn! Should you be worried? Should you give ultimatums, or simply leave? Or is it really a problem in your relationship?

So many questions come in about porn, and it might be helpful to take a look at some of the ways men’s minds work when it comes to looking at naked women online…

A man’s sex drive runs on “rocket fuel” most of the time.

One of my guy friends told me his sex drive made him feel like he was riding a skateboard hitched to a drag racer – one that NEVER stops going.

That’s an image that stuck with me. I can imagine how crazy-out-of-control it must feel. Unless he keeps it in hand (hah), there’s gonna be collateral damage and it ain’t gonna be the drag racer that gets hurt.
The only way he can get the race car to pull off the track and into the pit for a breather…
The one surefire way to burn off some of that constant blast of sexual energy…
…is to ejaculate.

In *addition* to enjoying the hell out of having sex with you, guys masturbate to burn off fuel, when they want to relax, and when they’re restless or bored.

And hey, I’m all about a good, naughty quickie, but I don’t have time to drive over to where he works and give it to him under the desk every day. And while it’s fun once in a while, most women aren’t thrilled about being woken up in the middle of the night to give him a bj so he can get back to sleep. C’mon, there are some things a guy can handle on his own. And porn helps him do it.

The best balance here is when YOU get the best of his sexual energy, and the rest falls to him to take care of. If you want more sexual intimacy than you’re getting, believe me, communicate that and your man will be happy to oblige! If you want less, his ability to masturbate (and even if he’s not watching porn, it’s running in his head) is your friend.

You know things are out of balance when he consistently (and increasingly) chooses porn over real sex, or when he’s spending money you don’t both agree about on his online habit. Both of those are usually an indicator of a bigger problem in the relationship. In Capture His Heart, I teach you how to keep him totally focused on you as his absolute dream woman and how to figure out if he’s actually worthy of you. (LINK)
But if your relationship is actually in a reasonably good place, there’s probably no need to worry about him downloading porn videos to his phone to watch during his smoke break.

Do you have to compete with porn?

Hell, no. Hot, delicious sex (shoot, even routine sex) with a REAL naked woman is a bazillion times better than staring at a cold laptop screen and wishing, wishing…

And he’s a man. He loves to see naked women, including YOU. And you beat them all out because he gets to touch, taste, and thoroughly enjoy you, not just look…! You’re the queen, you always have been, and so long as you’re getting all the sexual attention you want, it’s a pretty good bet that porn will never replace you.

In addition, his watching porn has nothing to do with your breast size. Even if you had sex with him eleven times a day, he’d STILL want to see more naked women. More bouncy breasts, more temptingly rounded asses, more sexy ladies with no clothes on. It has nothing to do with YOUR beautiful curves, it has to do with his appetite.

Think of it like a cooking show. Girl, I can watch a cooking show all day long (and I don’t even have a tv, but I see these shows at the gym and at my friends’ houses). Don’t even get me started on those dudes who do the demos at the State Fair, because I’m mesmerized by them. Does it mean I don’t appreciate when my friends have me over for dinner? No. Does it mean I don’t feel treasured and cared for when my man takes me out to a really nice restaurant? Of course not, that would be silly.

But I am a foodie, and I just love me some cooking shows. Not as much as a great meal… But fortunately, I don’t have to choose. I can enjoy BOTH, and the cooking show will never mind when I turn it off to go enjoy some fresh local seafood with my guy. And I’m never going to turn down a date with a man for an hour with Paula Deen, and I don’t care HOW much butter she uses.

Is porn cheating?

I have one male friend who swears he never looks at porn. He feels that even his sexual fantasies should feature his woman as the (only) star of the show. That feels a bit extreme to me, and you’ll have your own opinion, I’m sure.

My personal position (I see you tryn’a sneak a joke in here) is that watching porn is not cheating so long as YOU are still the center of his real-life sexual universe. 

Porn should be no different to him than your cinematic movie crushes (and the cooking show channel) are to you – entertaining, but not something to become a stalker over.

C’mon, Channing Tatum is good to look at (although I’m partial to Matt McConaughey myself), but would you rather spend more time in the movie theater… or snuggled up with a guy who is dying to kiss you all the way from the nape of your neck down to your sexy little instep, with a few slow and delicious stops in between?

That’s what I thought you’d say. Too bad for Channing and Matt.

10 Ways to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

To get your ex boyfriend back, you’ll need to first understand why he left and how you might have pushed him away. Being too clingy or needy can push someone away just as much as not giving any attention at all. Here I’ve outline the Top 10 Ways to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back. Understand there is not always one set thing that will work for everyone, but this guide will help you avoid the common pitfalls and increase your chances substantially.

Tip #1 – Resist blaming your ex boyfriend.

Resist wanting to blame, argue or make your ex boyfriend jealous in the hope that he will magically come back just so you would STOP annoying him. See how illogical this is? You can’t attract love while throwing out negative energy. Even if you’re upset with him right now, you must remain calm and act as mature as possible.

Tip #2 – Don’t just shower him with love to get him back.

By throwing too much attention his way, this will usually not do any good because he knows you only want him back. Doing this to over-compensate what you failed to do before is not only a little late, it might even push him further away. If you want him back, you need to know why he left in the first place.

Tip #3 – Desperation kills attraction.

Feeling desperate means acting desperate. The best way to handle this is to resist talk to your ex for now. If you find yourself constantly calling him, txt messaging or begging and pleading for him to take you back, all these are signs of desperation. He has the upperhand for now but if you show him that you’re still in control, your strength during this time will be very attractive for him.

Tip #4 – Don’t stalk or bug his friends and family.

You might be desperate enough that you find yourself devising accidental run-ins and trying to pull information out of his friends and family. You won’t be fooling anyone and will look foolish instead. Stay out of their way and its best to even avoid going to places where you might run into him altogether.

Tip #5 – Analysis what went wrong in the relationship.

The fastest and best way to get your ex boyfriend back comes from taking a look at yourself. Sometimes we choose not to see something because that thing causes pain to us. But how you feel about yourself usually reflects back into the relationship you have. Take a look at what you were doing or not doing to cause the relationship to crumble.

Tip #6 – Bring back the best qualities about you.

Remember why your boyfriend fell in love with you in the first place? If you can’t answer this, you’ll need to do a bit of soul searching. You won’t be able to attract anyone if you don’t know what it is about you that attracted him in the first place.

Tip #7 – Jot down in a notepad all the pros and cons of your relationship.

No matter what you may think, your relationship did end for a reason. Now you must find out if its even a good idea to get back together with your ex boyfriend. The best way to do this is to write everything down in a pros and cons list, so you can see everything at once.

Tip #8 – Understand this won’t be forever.

Your break up pain will be hard to get for now but understand this won’t be forever. Time heals all wounds and its best you have this mindset to begin with to speed up your recovery. People do reunite all the time and there’s no reason why you can’t get your ex boyfriend back in the future.

Tip #9 – Don’t put your life on hold for him.

If you want to get over the break up quickly, you’ll not only have a better chance to get your ex boyfriend back, but you’ll be able to get on with your life faster also. The best thing to do is to focus on other areas of your life. Dive into work, delve into your hobbies, go out more with your friends. In essence, just get on with your life. Even if you don’t feel like it.

Tip #10 – Do some improving.

Improving yourself will not only increase your self-esteem and confidence it will make you happier in the long run.

I hope these tips have been helpful. If you can’t stop thinking about your boyfriend and want a step-by-step plan, proven to get your ex boyfriend back, then head over to [AFF LINK] for complimentary resources. This magic formula will have your ex begging to come back you in no time.

Women mature sexually much later than men do

Women mature sexu­ally much later than men do so a young woman[i] is very unlikely to discover orgasm with a lover. Over time a woman’s body may respond to being stim­u­lated by a lover and her mind may respond to the more subcon­scious turn-ons asso­ci­ated with sexual activity.

Women are not spon­tan­eously aroused so it is never apparent (alone or with a lover) even to them what stim­u­la­tion they need for orgasm. For a younger woman inept clit­oral stim­u­la­tion can be highly uncomfortable.

Anyone who is aroused by a lover’s body stim­u­lates the anatomy that turns them on because it assists with their own orgasm. Lesbians may stim­u­late the breasts and the vagina. Such sensa­tions act as an erotic turn-on so that the stim­u­la­tion assists with arousal but if women are aiming for orgasm they stim­u­late the clit­oris (not the vagina or the breasts).

Whether alone or with a lover stim­u­la­tion is similar but arousal is different. The clit­oris has to be stim­u­lated with a ‘feather-light’ touch. It takes years of dedic­a­tion for a man to learn how to stim­u­late the clitoris.
The conscious use of fantasies does not transfer to sex with a partner. To exper­i­ence orgasm with a lover it is vital that a woman knows what turns her on and what orgasm feels like. The exper­i­ence of masturb­a­tion does not guar­antee orgasm with a lover (by any means) but the fact that a woman can stim­u­late herself to orgasm indic­ates that she is capable of orgasm (she has the minimum sexual respons­ive­ness needed for orgasm).

It often appears as if men are intent on orgasm. Yet rather than discuss orgasm men like to talk about the turn-ons that initiate their arousal cycle that culmin­ates in orgasm. Women do not exper­i­ence sex drive or arousal (as men do) so orgasm may have more signi­fic­ance for women.

But even if she does even­tu­ally discover how to orgasm with a lover, a woman is not as strongly motiv­ated by sex as men tend to be (nor does she want it as often) because of the effort involved in achieving orgasm.
A woman has to be in the mood to relax and to allow a lover to pleasure her. Her lover has to be motiv­ated to explore providing continual clit­oral stim­u­la­tion regard­less of orgasm. The end result is completely different.
The phys­ical sensa­tions are very pleas­ur­able but there is not the same sense of psycho­lo­gical release. They do not compare with the more satis­fying orgasms that come from the use of fantasy during masturbation.
[i] Many younger females … may engage in such specific­ally sexual activ­ities as petting and even inter­course without discern­ible erotic reac­tion. (p157 Kinsey 1948)

The Facts About Romantic Compatibility

Romantic compatibility in a relationship is such an important thing to both couples. There’s no such romantic relationship if you’re not compatible with your mate. You have to be compatible when it comes to certain vulnerable things so to avoid misunderstanding and trouble dealing with one another. Usually, the astrology has something to say and have to guide you and your mate about the romantic compatibility insight through the different sun signs, for you and for your love, or for a certain someone that you’re having an eye on. Of course, you want to know how compatible you are to your mate before having a relationship with her or him, or before settling down.

It is good to know to whom you are compatible with before you enter a relationship. By this, you will know the best and the worst things that might match love. Others say birth compatibility is important so to create a romantic compatibility in a relationship. Good mates are the only child and youngest; the first-born and youngest; the middle child and the youngest. The gender plays a role too. It is possible to everyone to keep the relationships growing and create a romantic compatibility through understanding even there are ups and downs in a relationship. You must feel comfortable in a relationship that you’re in, because it indicates how much at ease you feel with your mate and that how you can tell how romantic compatibility works between you and the other person. Communication is still a good source of building up a romantic compatibility, where it indicates your ability to understand each other and exchange those sweet talks to each other. A good chemistry that binds you and your mate can make a good sense of romantic compatibility, too.

Romantic compatibility is important in a relationship, combined with love and understanding. Through this, it keeps the flame of passion that’s burning in a relationship. Sometimes, teaming up with those incompatible partners can lead to tensions, broken hearts and a lot of misunderstandings in a relationship, and of course, you don’t want a broken relationship that leaves painful scars in our lives. Romantic compatibility tells about the romantic relationship from a variety of angles. It also tells about the nature of your attraction, or how do you relate to each other. Romantic compatibility can tell you too what are the traits you are both compatible with and the specific dynamics of your chemistry together in building up a romantic compatibility.



Astrologers have been using charts to let couples understand and discover their own horoscope and the horoscope of their potential partner. Most compatibility charts can give more information about your partner and that can tell you to whom you are compatible with. It compares your partner’s individual birth information and gives you insight into your relationship. It compares and contrasts the interrelationship of two separate charts; the professional astrologers can reveal the many ways and many levels that the two people relate with each other. The romantic compatibility chart provides a comparison between two people with regards to all the things that affect their ability to harmonize with each other, from relationship personality and lifestyle to sexuality and passion. This is one of the most comprehensive ways that you can find and that will help you to understand on how you should relate romantically to another person, and how you both can better understand and appreciate each other.

Actually, romantic compatibility in a relationship relies to both couples, and not just to what astrology says. If you think you both find each other compatible and that you love each other, for sure, the romantic compatibility slowly will grow between you and your mate. The astrology just guides and gives you some important details that might help you in choosing your potential mate in the future and certain aspects that will help you enhance your personality and building up the romantic compatibility in a relationship.

Tips For Successful Online Relationships

Finding a person online that intrigues you enough to pursue an online relationship is difficult. Once you have found that person you need to revisit the age old issues of developing that relationship. In many respects, some may say that online relationships are easier then in person relationships. But, in reality it is pretty much the same, just a little bit more removed. Dating tips are essentially the same, but they are a little more subtle then if you are face-to-face.

Safety

Even if the person sounds fantastic online you must be aware that there are some people out there that are being all you want them to be, but with ulterior motives. The very first piece of online dating advise is to not to give the person on the other end any numbers like telephone or PIN numbers regardless of how good they sound.

Be honest with yourself

Relationship advice is always a bit suspect because we are all a bit different. Dating advice from one person to another only reflects that one person giving the dating advice and not necessarily how it applies to you. Always take advice on dating and apply it, with modification, to who you are. Don’t fudge about who you truly are, it will only come back to haunt you later on.

Slow and steady

One dating tip for a quality online relationship is to take it slow. Some might more aptly call this dating tip the restriction of to-much-information (TMI.) You do not need to have an online relationship develop 100 percent in one or two weeks. Let the personal information out slowly. A little mystery will go a long way to building the relationship.

Inflection

This particular piece of online dating advice is one item that requires a bit of work. Voice inflection when online is lost. Inflection is one of those things that we really take for granted. Quite a bit of meaning is lost without it. If you are sarcastic (like me) you can quickly lose somebody on the other end if they don’t know how the words are intended. This is one of the reasons that the LOL and smile face type notations have come about. The problem is, many people find these notations a bit “cutesy.” The online dating advice here is to use words to explain your inflection rather then symbols. So, if sarcastic, simply insert (sarcasm) into the text or use uppercase (OH BOY!!!) for very happy or (OH BOY) for can you believe what he did.

Conversation

Most people say that the art of conversation is dead. In a certain sense this also applies to online dating. Using text abbreviations and assumptions make online relationship building even more impersonal then it already is. This particular piece of online dating advice could be applied to regular relationship building as well. Use simple but descriptive whole worlds to describe what you are discussing. The right word will say quite a bit about who you are. For example: I like kayaking because of the way the paddle slips into the calm water works better then paddling is relaxing. You will come off as a bit more refined rather then just another person online.

Don’t impose

This is perhaps the hardest piece of advice for dating online to get used to. It is so easy to use a word that imposes a thought, belief or need onto another person without even knowing that you are doing it. If there is one thing that will stop an online relationship dead in its tracks it is imposing yourself on another. Once your online relationship progresses a bit you may loosen up a bit with this piece of relationship advice but until then always defer to the other person in the way you phrase a sentence. Make sure you make it known how you feel, but be sure that the wording reflects the other person’s ability to disagree or agree.

Be positive

Nobody likes a “gloomy Gus” when they get online. They really don’t want to be in an ongoing relationship with such a person, unless they happen to be a gloomy Gus. Stay up beat when you are writing with your online friend. Sure, everybody has their down days, and that is fine to share. It shows that you are becoming comfortable with that person. If there starts to be a pattern, however, you may want to assess what is going on with yourself personally or with a friend but there is really no need to share it online. If your assessment leads to a life change for the better…well, that is a great thing to share. Relationship advice or not, good news is a turn on for most.

Be open ended

Just about everybody has heard the phrase “leave them wanting more.” This holds true for online dating. You might think about your daily online conversations or your longer term relationships as a multi-course dinner. Always leave the person salivating for the next course. One of the better ways to do this is ask a question or two that requires a little thought or research. This will let them have something to bring to the table for your next conversation. This would also apply to you. Indicate that you will look into something and let them know what you find the next time you write.

Meeting for the first time

The big piece of online dating advice here is to meet in a busy place. All the online chat in the world won’t substitute for the first meeting and a true assessment. Try to stay relaxed. Listen, but be able to carry the conversation. Stick to areas where you can find help quickly. Call me a bit of a cynic but safety first.

Most importantly be yourself

How many times have you heard that one? Fortunately or not, the statement does ring particularly true for online relationships. A certain amount of “you” will seep into the online relationship whether you like it or not but try for being true to yourself all the time. Faking who you are will doom the relationship, unless you really didn’t want an online relationship in the first place. If you swear quite a bit in life, go for it (just use symbols so as to not offend to much.), if you happen to be one of those folks that dots their “I’s” with a heart go for that as well. Be who you are and the need for online relationship advice will go away fairly fast.